Particulary over the last two years I have gone down a long road by recognizing how I identify myself with or at some point by teaching Yoga.
Slowly shifting from the internally made up or picked up have-to-dos” and “to-bes” to be a good teacher to search for where I am in all this circus of (not only Yoga) life. That implies also keep discovering who I am, where I am up to and why. Lots of question. Changing answeres.
Because life is change. As good and as bad as it is. It is a fact.
Discovering and admitting that I have the tendency to overidentify with roles (because I wanna give my best) was a big lesson. Of course this habit makes life just at the first glance easier and more comfortable.
And of course I think it kind of natural development and the path you are going when you grow into something – that can be a movement practice, art, writing, science. At the beginning it is necessary to hold on certain rules and a mentor supports your way defintely. But at some point of time it becomes necessary to evaluate: Where do I want to grow? What does not longer serves me? Where can I let go? Where is my learning edge?
Especially when it comes to Yoga and teaching Yoga there a thousands of stereotypes and cliches. Digging deeper I felt trapped and caught in pictures which where not mine anymore or never have been. I have put myself down because of not practising Yoga for hours on a regular basis or prefering to go dancing instead of doing my practise.
I am still on this road but the waters feel way smoother at the moment.
“It takes discipline to be a free spirit.” Gabrielle Roth, 5 Rythms Teacher
For me at the moment it means: It takes discipline to question yourself and still keep on going. Setting myself free again and again. Shedding skin, dropping masks. Stay mindful and patient with myself.